I was home-schooled all through middle school and then put into public high school at the end of ninth grade because my parents wanted me to experience the social part of high school. “I’ll be 34 in a few months, and not only am I a virgin, I’ve never even kissed a girl before.However, getting generic advice from someone who has never been in that situation and doesn’t know (or care) about the intricacies of the situation does not make me feel better.” Just because the first 500 said no doesn’t mean that 501 will also say no. This is where people’s advice of ‘just get yourself out there!’ makes me want to pull my hair out. Can you point me in the direction of some people who will actually be comfortable around me and not just be polite and count the minutes until the deformed guy who’s making everyone uncomfortable with his presence leaves? All in all, I’ve probably asked about 500 girls out on a date, and I haven’t had anyone say yes yet. Ooh! Ooh! I know! You just need to have a friendship and let it blossom from there! Okay, great. Don’t worry – someone is out there for you!’ before they go back on with their lives and don’t ever think about it again. People always like to say with a wave of their hand, ‘Oh, looks don’t matter. The fact is, though, that constant rejection and lack of human contact can really take its toll on someone, especially when it goes on for years and years at a time.
I don’t sit in the basement making memes lamenting how women don’t go for ‘nice guys.’ I try to live my life. I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. I honestly believe it’s due to the fact that I’m severely physically deformed, I’m in a wheelchair, and I have burn marks over most of my body, including my face. “The gist of it is that I am 34, and I’ve never been on a date.I feel like I’m too mentally broken down to even consider the possibility that sex would happen to me at any point in my life.” I can’t approach the subject of love/romance/relationships at all without over-thinking everything. I’ve kissed before, and it left me on the verge of having a panic attack. I grew up with my entire social behavior scrutinized and used against me. Honestly, I’m terrified of pushing social interaction beyond mere acquaintance. I bring a book with me to read, and aside from that, my goal is to eat/drink something really good. I visited a bunch of doctors, and most of them said, ‘There’s nothing you can do about it.’ I go out now and then, but I keep to myself. Doing so much as vacuuming my home has me needing to sit down and recover for a while. I can’t play sports due to chronic physical problems: because of an accident I had when I was 21, my back, my knees and my feet shoot up in pain if I exert myself. Really, I don’t play games because I find them entertaining, but rather because it’s the only effective way I found to kill time. I do nothing but play video games outside of work, and every other hobby bores me to tears. I became an adult, but I’m really an eternal teenager. Next thing I knew, they were telling everyone about the latest awkward thing I attempted, and I would never hear the end of it.
It was so bad that some girls pretended to want to begin a relationship with me so as to get me to let my guard down. My family moved a lot where I was young, and I found a way to get bullied at every school I went to. I was never able to form any lasting friendships.
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